Anvil Fairy

Some people love to get attention
Talking loud without hesitation
The world revolves around just them
Sometimes you have to count to ten
But wouldn’t we all get a kick
To see the anvil fairy bearing gift
A fifty pounder give or take
To grant our friend a little break
A fractured skull might be too much
A slight concussion would be the touch
And when again his phone does ring
Another gift does fairy bring

On the Phone DR

Happy Easter! – Busy Day

EasterCrash

Busy day yesterday helping to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Thank you, Jesus!

EB got home late after lots of Easter fun with friends. Then we watched the Bible on television. He asked me to wish everyone a Happy Easter but told me not to wake him up.  Hopefully, he won’t be too cranky when he wakes up. I am prepared though – have lots of fresh carrots on hand and some Bailey’s Irish Cream.

 

Puppy Dog Love

krunk

My friend just got a puppy. EB thought it would be a good idea to visit and say hello. It didn’t take long for EB to want to go live with Gronk, That’s the puppy’s name. Now EB wants a Gronk of his own.

Me: EB, we can’t get a dog.

EB: Why not?

Me: Because, you’re too busy to take care of a dog, and so am I?

EB: What if we hired a dog sitter, full time?

Me: You’re crazy, we can’t afford to hire a full-time dog sitter.

EB: What if you sold more of your dumb books?

Me: I’d like to sell more books, EB, but nobody knows who the heck I am. It’s hard enough getting people to read it, even after the book won two awards.

EB: So the book doesn’t suck?

Me: No! The book doesn’t suck! A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story is a really good read.

EB: If we got a puppy, you could sell more books.

Me: And, how would that work? I don’t see how getting a dog will help me sell more books.

EB: More people would like you if you had a cute puppy. It would definitely make you more likable.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

EB: If more people liked you, more people would buy your book.

Me: One has nothing to do with the other.

EB: It would make you more likable AND smarter.

Me: I don’t get it, EB. That makes no sense.

EB: See, we really need a puppy. Then you could understand what I’m saying.

Me: Is that rabbit logic?

EB: For sure. And don’t forget a dog could be trained to do all kinds of important tasks, such as a seeing eye dog, or a carrot fetching dog.

Me: Oh, I get it. That’s why you want a puppy so badly, so you can train it to fetch carrots for you.

EB: That’s ridiculous

Me: No, it’s not. I’ve known you long enough to know when you have an ulterior motive. That’s why you want your very own Gronk.

EB: Now that you mention it, that would be a great service for a dog to provide. A carrot fetching dog! That’s a brilliant idea.

Me: Oh, so now I’m brilliant?

EB: No, but you could be?

Me: What do you mean, could be?

EB: You’d have to get a dog first.

 

EB Speaks Out on Free Refill Abuse at McDonalds

freerefills

EB and I visited McDonalds today while we waited for our truck to get an oil change. 

EB: What’s with the sign?

Me: It’s there so folks know that they can only refill their drink on the same visit, exactly what it says.

EB: You mean people came back later after leaving to refill their drinks?

Me: I’m sure McDonald’s didn’t put up the sign without a real need for it.

EB:  How can people think it’s OK to just keep coming back for more after they’ve left?

Me: I don’t know, EB. It’s probably a common thing in fast food places.

EB: It’s not enough that they give you nearly a gallon of tea for a buck?

Me: I guess not, EB. Don’t worry about it.

EB: That’s the kind of thing that really irritates me about you humans.

Me: I didn’t know illegal refills would get you so upset.

EB: Do you think people hang on to a cup for more than a day and come back for a refill the next day?

Me: I don’t know.

EB: Maybe a week, a month – you think even a year?

Me: Don’t know, EB. Forget about it.

EB: You think some rich old guy left his McDonalds cup in his will so his descendants could get free refills in perpetuity?

Me: I doubt it. Why are you obsessing about this?

EB: What happens to violators?

Me: I don’t know. I suppose they are asked not to do it.

EB: They should have Ronald McDonald take violators out back and give them a good kick in the…

Me: OK, that’s enough. Did you eat a spiked carrot or something?

EB: Those size 48’s would leave quiet an impression on a violator’s derrière. Don’t you think?

Me: OK, we gotta go. I just received a text. Our truck is ready.

We leave McDonalds and walk toward the inspection station.

EB: Wait!

Me: What?

EB: I have to go back.

Me: Why?

EB: Need a refill before we go.

Me: But, we’ve already left.

EB: No we didn’t!

Me: Yes, we did.

EB: Not technically.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

EB: I still have my cup.

Me: So?

EB: So, I still have my cup. I haven’t thrown it away yet. I can still get a refill.

Me: No you can’t. Don’t you remember the sign?

EB: That’s only if you’ve been gone for a while.

Me: That’s nuts. How long is that supposed to be?

EB: As long as it takes for the staff to forget about you?

Me: We left more than five minutes ago. We are a half a block from McDonalds. Now you are making up the rules simply to suit you? What happened to Ronald McDonalds and his size 48’s upon a violator’s derrière?

EB: You obviously don’t understand the spirit of the sign.

Me: Spirit of the sign? You have got to be kidding.

EB: You’re right.

Me: I’m glad you agree.

EB: Yeah, I’ll just get my refill at the other McDonalds, near our house.

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