My friend just got a puppy. EB thought it would be a good idea to visit and say hello. It didn’t take long for EB to want to go live with Gronk, That’s the puppy’s name. Now EB wants a Gronk of his own.
Me: EB, we can’t get a dog.
EB: Why not?
Me: Because, you’re too busy to take care of a dog, and so am I?
EB: What if we hired a dog sitter, full time?
Me: You’re crazy, we can’t afford to hire a full-time dog sitter.
EB: What if you sold more of your dumb books?
Me: I’d like to sell more books, EB, but nobody knows who the heck I am. It’s hard enough getting people to read it, even after the book won two awards.
EB: So the book doesn’t suck?
Me: No! The book doesn’t suck! A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story is a really good read.
EB: If we got a puppy, you could sell more books.
Me: And, how would that work? I don’t see how getting a dog will help me sell more books.
EB: More people would like you if you had a cute puppy. It would definitely make you more likable.
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
EB: If more people liked you, more people would buy your book.
Me: One has nothing to do with the other.
EB: It would make you more likable AND smarter.
Me: I don’t get it, EB. That makes no sense.
EB: See, we really need a puppy. Then you could understand what I’m saying.
Me: Is that rabbit logic?
EB: For sure. And don’t forget a dog could be trained to do all kinds of important tasks, such as a seeing eye dog, or a carrot fetching dog.
Me: Oh, I get it. That’s why you want a puppy so badly, so you can train it to fetch carrots for you.
EB: That’s ridiculous
Me: No, it’s not. I’ve known you long enough to know when you have an ulterior motive. That’s why you want your very own Gronk.
EB: Now that you mention it, that would be a great service for a dog to provide. A carrot fetching dog! That’s a brilliant idea.
Me: Oh, so now I’m brilliant?
EB: No, but you could be?
Me: What do you mean, could be?
EB: You’d have to get a dog first.