Easter Bunny Saves Manti Te’o


me: What’s on your mind, EB? You have that look. The same look, but different.
EB: What if Manti Te’o had a bunny rabbit and it were me? But, what if he didn’t realize that he had a bunny and it died? Would he know it, or would someone have to call him pretending to be me, so that he could figure out that he didn’t really have a bunny?
me: Good question EB, but I think it would need to appear on the news first.
EB: Why, is everything on the news real.
me: No, I think some of it wants to be real.
EB: How do you know whether it’s real or not?
me: I think it depends on the polls and the ratings that day. I’m not real sure. Every once in a while facts have something to do with it.
EB: Hmmm, I see. But, after giving this much thought over a fine organically grown carrot, I think facts have everything to do with it.
me: What do you mean?
EB: Let me explain, my simple human friend. There are two kinds of facts. The one that is based on evidence, you know, real tangible proof that you can touch. The other is a “Factabee”. At least that’s what I call them, you know (fact wannabees).
me: What’s exactly is a factabee?
EB: It’s something you wish were really a fact. You wish it so hard, that it magically becomes a fact. I think there is a fact-fairy, a big fat bee with a wand. You can put your factabee under your pillow and in the morning it’s a fact.
me: Is that a fact?
EB: Maybe. But my personal factabee is that I save Manti Te’o by proving that the reporter who originally broke the story is not real. Then Manti would have a big party and fly us to Hawaii to celebrate the story that never happened.
me: I’m with you EB… Say, where you going?
EB: Gonna pack my bags and put my factabee under my pillow. Aloha amigo.