Easter Bunny not Singing the Blues

EB Plays GuitarEB Performed at a solo concert today for some of his closest friends. He wanted to celebrate winning a Liebster Award and also the release of “A Rabbit’s Tale An Easter Story”.

me: EB, I didn’t know you could sing and play guitar.
EB: There is a lot you don’t know about me. I am a rabbit of mystery.
me: What else might I not know, that you want to share?
EB: Well, for one thing, I can read lips.
me: You’re kidding! That is a strange skill for you to have.
EB: No, I’m not kidding. It’s kind of a hobby. I’m like HAL in the movie “2001 A Space Odyssey” only, I won’t lock you out in the vacumm of space to watch you die.
me: That’s comforting to know. Have you red my lips.
EB: On occasion. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.
me: No, I’m really glad you did.
EB: Now, you will be paranoid knowing that I know everything you’re up to.
me: That’s OK. I have nothing to hide, like some rabbits.
EB: What’s that supposed to mean?
me: You know what I mean, don’t play innocent?
EB: What? Read my lips. “I   d o n ‘ t   k n o w”.
me: You told me that you were going to spend the day in contemplative prayer, and you were really out buring rubber in your Maserati.
EB: I did spend the day in contemplative prayer. All afternoon I was contemplating the fine performance of that incredible automobile, and thanking Jesus for winning the Liebster Award.
me: I thought you weren’t feeling too good.
EB: I wasn’t at first, but Maserati is good medicine. Man, I wished Elvis could have been there!
me: What is it with you and Elvis, you dream about him and you act like he’s still alive and is your best buddy.
EB: We were tight.
me: You never met him!
EB: Yeah, but we would have been tight. In fact, he would have loved your crazy Rabbit’s Tale book.
me: How would you know that.
EB: It’s rabbit intuition. It’s never wrong. He would have liked Juan, your main character. I even wrote a song for the occasion. Wanna hear it?
me: Not really,
EB: OK, here goes, I borrowed a few lines from Elvis but the rest is mine.

It’s one for the money
two for the show

three to get in my Maserati

and go baby go.

Don’t you talk to me about no hot toddy
You can do anything but don’t touch my Maserati

You can take my carrots and step on my face
You can pull me by the ears all over the place
You can do anything that you wanna do,
Ohh but honey stay off -a- that hood

Don’t you talk to me about no hot toddy
You can do anything but don’t touch my Maserati


Finding Elvis

ElvisEB: I had a very strange dream last night.
me: You have lots of strange dreams.
EB: I wish this one would come true.
me: What happened in your dream?
EB: I dreamed that Elvis came back.
me: Man, I wish that were true, EB.
EB: He just showed up at the office. There were a bunch of people around and nobody noticed him. I saw him, went up to him and said, “You’re back!” He just smiled and said, “Yeah.” The weird thing is, it never occurred to me to ask him where he had been. I was just real happy he was back. Kind of like the prodigal son story of the son who took off and later returned. The Dad didn’t really care where the son had gone – just happy he was back.
me:  What else happened in your dream?
EB: Elvis and I walked around SOHO in New York.  He didn’t look too much older – actually looked pretty good. The problem was, no one believed it was him, but it really was him. Real nice guy.
me: How do you know EB, did you ever meet him before?
EB: No, didn’t have to.  I just know. As we walked around, people would respond funny to him. One group of tourist were taking pictures. I asked if they wanted a picture with Elvis. The dad said OK and handed Elvis an application form to fill out in order to be in the picture. He wanted to know his home address and a bunch of other personal info, as though Elvis was applying for a job.
me: Did he fill it out?
EB: No, I ripped the dumb paper out of his hands and told the dad that he was an idiot and would regret not taking a picture with Elvis when he had the chance.  I told him to watch the news and weep. We just kept walking.
me: Where else did you go.
EB : We stopped into a jewelry store and nobody believed it was him.
me: Wow, was he upset?
EB: No, he didn’t seemed to mind,  just said to me that he wanted to do some singing real soon.
me: Anything else happen in your dream?
EB: We stopped at a food stand and some wise guys kept looking at him. I told the guy that Elvis was back. The guy and his buddy just smiled, as though they didn’t believe it was really him.
me: What was Elvis wearing?
EB: He had on a white studded jumpsuit. They thought Elvis was impersonating himself.
me:  Did anyone believe it was really him?
EB: There were a few people that came up to him and wanted to take his picture. Some of them pointed and huddled about it. A few came up to him. Not as many as I would have expected. I told Elvis that it wouldn’t surprise me if someone requested a DNA test.
me: I guess people have a hard time believing since he’s been gone a long time.
EB: I suppose so.  We went back to the office and I went back to work on my Easter Egg Hunt preparations. Then it was like it never happened.  I forgot that Elvis had come back. While I had forgotten about him, I think he just hung out at one end of the office. A while later, an Elvis song came on the radio and I thought to myself, how cool it would be if Elvis came back. Then I looked up and realized,  he was back. So, I went back over to him. We talked about him singing to seniors. Then I grabbed my camera and we took some pictures. By that time, everyone in the office wanted to take a picture with him. I think they started to realize it was really him.
me: Wow, EB  that was a really strange dream.
EB: You know what’s stranger?
me: What?
EB: Jesus coming back.
me: Why? You don’t think anybody will recognize him either?
EB: Probably not, and I suspect he’s already here.

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