EB: So, your dumb book got another award?
Me: Yeah, isn’t it great…and it’s not a dumb book.
EB: An Easter Story without the real Easter Bunny, that would be me, is dumb.
Me: Are you coming with me to Miami for the awards ceremony?
EB: If I’m in a coma, maybe I’ll join you.
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
EB: Boring. That’s what I mean. It would be like watching bowling on TV. I think I would much rather spend my time engaged in nasty political banter with my fellow rabbits.
Me: I didn’t think rabbits were interested in politics.
EB: Usually we’re not.
Me: Why now?
EB: Are you kidding? It’s the best entertainment ever.
Me: It’s not supposed to be entertainment per se. This is serious stuff. People have to vote for the candidate they think is most suitable for the presidency… What are you laughing at?
EB: Your species is in big trouble.
Me: If humans are in trouble, so are rabbits.
EB: I don’t think so. When was the last time you went camping or had to go without running water or electricity? Rabbits can fend for themselves when everything shuts down.
Me: What does that have to do with any of this?
EB: Boy, your dumber than you look. You’ll have plenty of time to get used to roughing it after the elections.
EB: Because your candidates are special this election year. One of them is the anti-Christ, the other will cause Armageddon. I’ll let you figure out which is which. Anyway, the theme song for your species is “It’s the End of the World as You Know it.” Oh, and by the way, I feel fine.
Me: Wow, EB, I have never seen you this nasty and pessimistic.
EB: I’m usually a very upbeat rabbit. I love to hop for no reason and binge on carrots. But I have to say, humans tick me off.
EB: Don’t get me wrong, I love some of your kind and have seen some of the incredibly good things that humans can do. I’m not just talking about the invention of Silly Putty and the Clapper. But lately, I have never seen such a bunch of whining, hate-filled, self-destructive, greedy bastards as you humans. I can even overlook the fact that some of you actually enjoy rabbit’s stew. But, for the most part, you are all guilty of negligence.
Me: Negligence of what?
EB: …being human.