23822491_4170218 _ Cover _ June 2014

Me: How do you like my new cover, EB?

EB: It stinks.

Me: You’ve told me that before, but how do you like the new cover? This is a new cover. It shows a hand a letter and the two seals. What do you think?

EB: Your new cover stinks almost as badly as your old cover.

Me: What makes you say that?

EB: What makes me say that is the fact that it stinks.

Me: What about it makes it stink?

EB Everything about it stinks. What are you dense? I thought humans were supposed to have reasoning skills.

Me: What are you in a bad mood or something? I just want your opinion on my new cover and all you can say is that it stinks.

EB: I gave you my opinion. It stinks. The only way for it not to stink is for you to do a new cover.

Me: What should the new cover look like?

EB: Like I’ve been telling you since you wrote the dumb book, it needs to have me on the cover.

Me: But it’s not really about just you. It’s about …

EB: You’re delusional. Of course, it’s about me.

Me: Not really.

EB: Don’t start with that Jesus thing again or I’ll have to bitch slap you like I did the last time we had this conversation.

Me: And you expect kids to take Easter candy from a rabbit with an attitude?

EB: I can’t help it if I’m famous. Kids will take candy from me even if it comes out of my …

Me: EB! That’s just plain vulgar, I’m surprised at you.

EB: Ohh, do I seem a little insensitive.

Me: Yes, you’re not yourself.

EB: It must be that stupid book cover of yours. Why don’t you just ask people for feedback on how to un-stink it?

Me: Maybe I will. Meanwhile, you need to wash your mouth out with soap.

EB: You’re kidding right? You see this carrot? May I suggest you…

If anyone out in cyberspace would like to make a suggestion on how to un-stink the book cover, please leave a comment. I’m sure EB will rub it in my face later.