Guns, Rotten Eggs and Aliens from Outer Space

me: Hey EB, what would you do if an alien from another planet came into your den and pointed a ray gun at you?
EB: I would probably offer him a carrot. I figured if they’re smart enough to come all this way and all they want to do is blow us up, then we’re all in big trouble.
me: What if a man pointed a gun at you.
EB: I’d offer him my wallet and say a few prayers. I’ll take my chances with the alien.
me: So what do you think of this gun control controversy, after all the mass shootings we’ve been having?
EB: What’s the controversy about?
me: The right to bare arms.
EB: I actually prefer short sleeved shirts myself and don’t see anything wrong with that.
me: It’s not about wearing short-sleeve shirts. It’s about being able to own all kinds of guns.
EB: Why do you need guns?
me: To hunt and to protect ourselves.
EB: What do you need protection from?
me: Each other.
EB: Hmmm.
me: That’s the world we live in.
EB: How do guns work?
me: They fire a projectile which kills or injures depending on where it hits the other person or animal.
EB: How many projectiles, would you say it takes, to wound or kill someone?
me: Probably one, maybe two or three, but people still want to keep their rapid fire and high capacity projectile weapons.
EB: Why?
me: They just want them. And they think that if they give these weapons up now, the government will take the rest of their guns away. It all has to do with the 2nd Amendment and people’s rights.
EB: That sounds like a bunch of crap to me!
me: Wow, EB did you say, crap?
EB: Yeah, I guess, I did.
me: But you never say crap or things like that.
EB: Very seldom am I around real crap. This is real crap.
me: why do you say that?
EB: Because, if it takes one or two projectiles to wound or kill, being able to fire a gazillion times, with these rapid fire weapons, only means you have a better chances of hurting a gazillion people for no good reason. What if the person that owns one of these rapid fire things, loses it, or its stolen, or they leave it in a public bathroom by accident, or any of the other one million and one things that you know will happen, even though people say they won’t?
me: I don’t know EB. I guess any of those things could happen, but it’s so unlikely.
EB: Unlikely as someone walking into a school and blowing 21 young innocent kids away?
me: What about the 2nd Amendment?
EB: I think its cowardly to hide behind it. The government would never take all of the guns away. People know it, but they just talk to scare others into believing that they will lose all their toys. You hear it often enough you start to believe it. I’m amazed that people are still flapping their lips about it. If I had 10 eggs and 5 were rotten, but I refused to give up my 5 rotten eggs for fear that you will then take my 5 good eggs – makes no sense. Even a rabbit can see that.
me: This gun control controversy thing has been going on for a long time.
EB: This is not about the 2nd Amendment. It’s about money, and…
me: And what, EB?
EB: …and folks wanting to keep their rotten eggs.

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