Finding Elvis

ElvisEB: I had a very strange dream last night.
me: You have lots of strange dreams.
EB: I wish this one would come true.
me: What happened in your dream?
EB: I dreamed that Elvis came back.
me: Man, I wish that were true, EB.
EB: He just showed up at the office. There were a bunch of people around and nobody noticed him. I saw him, went up to him and said, “You’re back!” He just smiled and said, “Yeah.” The weird thing is, it never occurred to me to ask him where he had been. I was just real happy he was back. Kind of like the prodigal son story of the son who took off and later returned. The Dad didn’t really care where the son had gone – just happy he was back.
me:  What else happened in your dream?
EB: Elvis and I walked around SOHO in New York.  He didn’t look too much older – actually looked pretty good. The problem was, no one believed it was him, but it really was him. Real nice guy.
me: How do you know EB, did you ever meet him before?
EB: No, didn’t have to.  I just know. As we walked around, people would respond funny to him. One group of tourist were taking pictures. I asked if they wanted a picture with Elvis. The dad said OK and handed Elvis an application form to fill out in order to be in the picture. He wanted to know his home address and a bunch of other personal info, as though Elvis was applying for a job.
me: Did he fill it out?
EB: No, I ripped the dumb paper out of his hands and told the dad that he was an idiot and would regret not taking a picture with Elvis when he had the chance.  I told him to watch the news and weep. We just kept walking.
me: Where else did you go.
EB : We stopped into a jewelry store and nobody believed it was him.
me: Wow, was he upset?
EB: No, he didn’t seemed to mind,  just said to me that he wanted to do some singing real soon.
me: Anything else happen in your dream?
EB: We stopped at a food stand and some wise guys kept looking at him. I told the guy that Elvis was back. The guy and his buddy just smiled, as though they didn’t believe it was really him.
me: What was Elvis wearing?
EB: He had on a white studded jumpsuit. They thought Elvis was impersonating himself.
me:  Did anyone believe it was really him?
EB: There were a few people that came up to him and wanted to take his picture. Some of them pointed and huddled about it. A few came up to him. Not as many as I would have expected. I told Elvis that it wouldn’t surprise me if someone requested a DNA test.
me: I guess people have a hard time believing since he’s been gone a long time.
EB: I suppose so.  We went back to the office and I went back to work on my Easter Egg Hunt preparations. Then it was like it never happened.  I forgot that Elvis had come back. While I had forgotten about him, I think he just hung out at one end of the office. A while later, an Elvis song came on the radio and I thought to myself, how cool it would be if Elvis came back. Then I looked up and realized,  he was back. So, I went back over to him. We talked about him singing to seniors. Then I grabbed my camera and we took some pictures. By that time, everyone in the office wanted to take a picture with him. I think they started to realize it was really him.
me: Wow, EB  that was a really strange dream.
EB: You know what’s stranger?
me: What?
EB: Jesus coming back.
me: Why? You don’t think anybody will recognize him either?
EB: Probably not, and I suspect he’s already here.

Easter Bunny Saves Manti Te’o

NoahsArk

me: What’s on your mind, EB? You have that look. The same look, but different.
EB: What if Manti Te’o had a bunny rabbit and it were me? But, what if he didn’t realize that he had a bunny and it died? Would he know it, or would someone have to call him pretending to be me, so that he could figure out that he didn’t really have a bunny?
me: Good question EB, but I think it would need to appear on the news first.
EB: Why, is everything on the news real.
me: No, I think some of it wants to be real.
EB: How do you know whether it’s real or not?
me: I think it depends on the polls and the ratings that day. I’m not real sure. Every once in a while facts have something to do with it.
EB: Hmmm, I see. But, after giving this much thought over a fine organically grown carrot, I think facts have everything to do with it.
me: What do you mean?
EB: Let me explain, my simple human friend. There are two kinds of facts. The one that is based on evidence, you know, real tangible proof that you can touch. The other is a “Factabee”. At least that’s what I call them, you know (fact wannabees).
me: What’s exactly is a factabee?
EB: It’s something you wish were really a fact. You wish it so hard, that it magically becomes a fact. I think there is a fact-fairy, a big fat bee with a wand. You can put your factabee under your pillow and in the morning it’s a fact.
me: Is that a fact?
EB: Maybe. But my personal factabee is that I save Manti Te’o by proving that the reporter who originally broke the story is not real. Then Manti would have a big party and fly us to Hawaii to celebrate the story that never happened.
me: I’m with you EB… Say, where you going?
EB: Gonna pack my bags and put my factabee under my pillow. Aloha amigo.

Oh, no! Not the Great Hef!

Rab0424me: no more bad dreams EB?
EB: No, slept pretty good after that nighmare, thank goodness.
I read a bit more of “A Rabbit’s Tale“, There is a mention of the great Hef!
me: What’s that?
EB: You know, the Great Hef, Hugh Hefner. He is a legend among us bunnies.
me: Why?
EB: Well, He’s taken in so many stray bunnies and given them a good home. We would tell stories about him when I was a young rabbit.
me: Hey, EB, I hate to break it to you.  I don’t think those bunnies are exactly what you were led to believe.
EB: What do you mean?
me: The bunnies Hugh Hefner took in were females that dress up with minimum clothing and a pair of rabbit ears and a bunny tail.
EB: What are you saying?

me: I’m saying the Great Hef is really a great Playboy, not a rabbit rescuer…. EB, are you alright. You look pale.
EB: You do realize that you’ve shattered my lifelong hero.
me: Sorry, old buddy, thought you should know.
EB: Crrrrikeeee!

Just a Bad Dream

20130125-124034.jpgme: EB, What’s the matter?
EB: I had a terrible nap!
me: You don’t look too good.
EB: I feel like a two thousand year old Peeps.
me: Why?
EB: After reading more of that bogus Rabbit book. I had a nightmare. I dreamed that my ears had shrunk and my eyes got big. I woke up screaming.
me: Perhaps you should stop reading the book.
EB: Can’t, gotta see what happens. Although, I might have to have a word with the clown that wrote it.

Photo: Reblogged from thisbitchandhercats:

How Was It Growing Up?

ImageToday EB and I were talking about “growing up.” Gordon had asked about it in an earlier post.

me: Well, EB, how was it for your growing up?
EB: I was one of the lucky ones. I was adopted by a nice family and got to enjoy my rabbithood. In fact, I looked just like Snuggles in the picture. I turned out pretty good looking, I might add.
me: Yes, you are quite the handsome rabbit. Where did you find the picture?
EB: I was browsing around on WordPress and found it here, http://fosterfanatic.wordpress.com/2013/01/20/snuggles-buggles-and-shadow/. The folks who posted are great. They are  trying to find them a home. I hope they succeed.
me: Are you still reading that new book?
EB: I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need a carrot!

The Rabbit’s Tale Controversy

RabbitsTaleCoverAfter a terrible night’s sleep after EB’s phone call, we spoke early in the day. EB came by with the new book he’d just started reading.

me: How’s the book going EB?
EB: I might have to write to the author.
me: Why?
EB: Well, he makes some controversial statements about Easter.
me: Oh yeah? What kind of statements?
EB: For starters he claims that Easter is not about me, but about some guy named Jesus!
me: Really?
EB: Yes! What gall. I need to correct him.

EB Loves Jeyna Grace

EB called me in the middle of the night, he was rambling on like a lunatic.

Ring Ring Ring

me: Hello who the ()*&(*#(* is this? Do you know what time it is?
EB: Hey, it’s me. Guess what?
me: What is it EB, are you OK?
EB: Yeah, I just got my first comment on my blog!
me: What’s the big #(*U#)(#@#) deal? You woke me up just to tell me that? Geez!
EB: Her name is Jeyna Grace and she is a writer! I posted her avatar on my frig. She wrote a 20k word novella in 23 hours. Isn’t that cool?
me: Great EB, are you done? Can I go back to sleep now?
EB: Well, someone’s sounds a little cranky.
me: Goodnight EB. (click)